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 Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade

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Ms.MaraJade
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PostSubject: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:22 pm

As a general guide, I cover a few genres, but I will only put my Clone-related fan fiction here. Feel free to look at my fan fiction profile to see where else I like to roam: Ms.MaraJade

My first attempt into the world of Star Wars fan fiction came as a little one-shot entitled "Expectations," that I think showcases a decent touch of the Mandalorian culture. It's a scene I had hoped was in Order 66 after a particular conversation between Kal and Ordo.

Title: Expectations
Timeline: Post Order 66
Characters: Ordo and Besany
Genre: Family / Romance
Plot/Summary: A future moment in time, shared between Ordo and Besany.
Links: Expectations


Working on what I consider a more advanced piece is "Republic Commando: Knight of Honor." It's a marriage of the fairy tale genre to the Karen Traviss Republic Commando genre.

Title: Republic Commando: Knight of Honor
Timeline: Clone Wars Era and Post Order 66
Characters: Original Characters: Crimson Squad, Tochin Royalty, and Minor Characters
Canon Characters: Ordo and Kal Skirata (both briefly)
Genre: Romance / Action
Plot/Summary: A fairy tale-esque story inspired by the Karen Traviss Republic Commando Novels. Clones are taught loyalty, honor, obedience, and sacrifice -- not kindness, compassion, humanity, or...love.
Links: Republic Commando: Knight of Honor

Ms.MaraJade Fan Fiction Disclaimer : I make no money, and I only write about what I enjoy.

Comments, critiques, and reviews welcome. I just want to learn how to be a better writer. Feel free to post here or leave on fanfiction.net.


Last edited by Ms.MaraJade on Sun Aug 01, 2010 7:03 pm; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : EDIT: Changed the summary line for Knight of Honor to be more accurate to the current story. Also edited the Canon characters.)
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:35 pm

Oo, yes, I've always meant to ask you this:

You always refer to Knight of Honor as fairy tale-esque, but I can never really figure out what that implies, cuz I get a whole jumble of Disney movies in my head. Razz So when you fairy tale-esque, how does that tie in to the story?
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:44 pm

Quote :
Oo, yes, I've always meant to ask you this:

You always refer to Knight of Honor as fairy tale-esque, but I can never really figure out what that implies, cuz I get a whole jumble of Disney movies in my head. So when you fairy tale-esque, how does that tie in to the story?

Hi Vhe!
No problem with your question. I say it's fairy tale-esque because of the concept of working with a princess and there are going to be more elements that are related to fairy tales in upcoming chapters. There's also a reason for the title "Knight of Honor," but to explain that now would spoil it later in the story...of course, I may have just done that! Laughing

Let me know if that helped or not.
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Wed Mar 18, 2009 7:49 pm

Yep! Smile That did it; and don't worry, I always figured the title would play in somehow, so no spoiling was done.

But of course I'm quite interested in seeing how, now. Wink
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Thu Mar 19, 2009 5:02 pm

So, if anyone has been tracking, I just put up Chapter 5 today of Republic Commando: Knight of Honor.

(Yes, fanfiction notes it as Chapter 6 because it doesn't take the Prologue into account as Chapter 0.)

Enjoy!

Only Chapter 5 is in the link below. The full story starts in the first post of this sub-thread.

Chapter 5: Republic Commando: Knight of Honor
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Thu Mar 19, 2009 5:48 pm

Reposted from what I left you on ff.net about chapter 5:

Yes, I am really liking this very polar opposite leading female role you have going; Arlesse’s hardly confident or dashing, but in her own way, that’s still endearing, so props to you. I like that she knows her limits and KNOWS she isn’t cut out for this sort of situation; two qualities I found obnoxious in Etain. I guess what I’m saying is that she HAS personality, even though she’s meek. I like her.

‘ “My employers knew I’d get bored after a short while with not being able to do anything to you so they found me a real life clone trooper to keep me entertained. I’m slowly removing his armor one piece at a time.” ‘

That was very creepy and made my gut squirm; good job pulling reactions. Razz That whole torture scene was very good, and it was very touching the way the trooper tried to reassure her, even with the state of disassemble he was in.


‘ “Fierfek!” Jas said softly, but angrily. The trooper might have still been on that ship somewhere, and they didn’t try to find him. His guilt suddenly overwhelmed him. ‘

That really affected me; I can just imagine Jas’s emotions, that chest-tightness.

Ha, also, the scene about Arlesse not letting go of Jas’s hand was also very cute and well-written; it played out very naturally. I just love reading your chapters; nothing about them ever seems awkward or forced, and everything just flows like a book. As another little observation, I also like how your squad doesn't seem to have a very set 'funny' guy; that seems standard in most other canon or OC squads, and though I love the funny guy, I can also respect the originality of spreading the humor out a little more evenly between the characters; it's realistic.
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Sat Apr 04, 2009 12:24 pm

I put it off long enough. If I keep proofreading, I'm going to edit it too much!! Laughing

Chapter 6 of Knight of Honor has been posted.

Preview Excerpt:
Eyes turning sad now, Arlesse fidgeted with the bottle of water in her hands. “I feel like I’m nobody. I…” She broke off her words and shook her head briefly as a thought occurred to her. “Everyone chooses names or is given a name so that they will not be a nobody. I overhead some of the nobles talking about the Clone Army a few weeks ago, and they called you flesh droids. They said you were men with no names, only ranks and numbers. They made you sound like uncaring beings who did nothing but wield weapons against a common enemy.”

She brought her eyes to each of the four similarly looking men. “Since I met you, though, you have done everything to prove those ungrateful nobles wrong.”

Gath took a heavy breath now and rubbed his face with his hands. He tried to figure out how a small, young woman could turn their world into chaos. She had just complimented them on their display of humanity, and he wasn’t sure if she was even aware that she had done so.

Comments & Critiques welcome. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Mon Apr 13, 2009 3:47 pm

Reposted about Chapter 6 (finally Razz ) :

I love when authors describe ‘worldly’ things in the Star Wars universe, such as your allusion to the fairies; it’s always fun to see how people make it neutral enough to add in.

I also enjoyed Gath’s thoughts about the princess, about wondering if she’d been raised a bit less sheltered if she’d be a bit more confident. It’s cute that none of them judge her negatively despite her frailness, like they can all tell she’s a bit more than just any civvie; I think they can tell that she’s a sweetheart. Wink

Also, as a little things I have: I love it when it’s mentioned that clones need haircuts. XD So that was fun about Dusty. In the same way, I liked the bit about Mouse and Dusty brawling; you don’t see much of that side of things (being the clones are usually so brotherly), but, even brothers get on each other’s nerves. Just goes to show how they’ve strengthened over time.

‘ “Come on, ner vod. It’s a badge of honor. How many other squads have a one-hundred percent success rate despite their handicaps?” ‘

Ha! XD Funny.

I absolutely adore Arlesse’s attempts to fit in. She desperately wants to know what she’s doing and be tough like the guys (the ration cube thing), but knows she has no idea how. I used to be like that when I was younger and still finding my confidence, so I loved the parallels. I also loved the description of ‘Reject’ Squad’s tendency to bend the rules. It’s a neat identifier.

‘ “Give the girl some privacy, will you, ner vod? Not everyone can hold it as long as you can. She needs to ‘study the plants and flowers closely.’” ‘

I love that! It didn’t dawn on me the first time you wrote it that that was what it meant, but it plays out better figuring it out at the end of the chapter anyways. It loops it back to the beginning. Very funny. Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Tue May 05, 2009 7:55 pm

Okay, I've been editing the heck out of this chapter every night for the past two weeks. Damn, I miss being able to use my flash drive at work on my lunch break. This would have been done a week ago! (The "powers that be" now made it officially against company policy to use ANY flash drives, and I don't feel like losing my job over fan fiction. UGH!)

Anyway, Chapter 7 has been updated on "Knight of Honor."

Please enjoy, and constructive criticism or positive reinforcement is always appreciated!

Knight of Honor: Chapter 7
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Thu May 07, 2009 8:57 pm

No flash drives?? Why?? Email it to yourself. Razz

Oh, and review for 7 Smile :

Well, there’s just so much to love in this chapter; it’s definitely the kinda fluffy stuff I am only a little reluctant to say I love. Very Happy

I still love Arlesse’s attempts to keep up; I’m very familiar with that sense of wanting to impress the guys, or at least not disappoint them, and it’s such an admirable thing. Instead of just BEING tough, she isn’t, and is doing her best to try. Smile

I love love love her comparisons of Jas to Caspan. I can just picture the perfect disney prince, totally handsome, but in no way rugged, probably a nice guy, but too aloof. I’m really liking how you’re combining a sort of mild sense of fantasy story in with Star Wars; it works way better than I would expect it to. Jas and Arlesse’s ‘relationship’, though seemingly moving fast, is also pretty realistic, even so. They’re both socially awkward and curious, and both feel a bit of a hole in their life.

I think the thing that struck me most was Arlesse’s sudden worry that she had stubble on her legs; now THAT’S real life. XD I don’t know how many times I’ve worried about that sort of thing... it’s definitely what goes through your mind when you get into that sort of a situation with the guy you’re starting to like. I also liked the ‘Arlesse suddenly felt every fantasy she ever had for any of the men of court vanish from her thoughts’ bit; that was cute. ^_^

The finger-linking was also elegantly innocent and touching; it reminded me of the movie Tarzan a bit (which is awesome), with neither really believing the other could be what they really were, and both equally awed about it. A moment of shared curiosity and lack of inhibitions. Smile

I also must commend you on how you switch character perspective between paragraphs; I don’t see that done often (probably because it’s easy to get thoughts and actions confused), but I’ve always been able to keep track of who’s doing/thinking what in your story. I never get lost in the character switches.

Keep it coming! I want to hear all their inner thought struggles now that they have time to be embarrassed! XD
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Wed May 27, 2009 1:15 am

Oh shab. Another one who's good at making me care and feel.


Good stuff all around, especially with the hesitation on Order 66.
Also of note- Jas. So kriffing....honorable...... Sad

Now I know why Kal Skirata gets so sad thinking about how hard these guys have it. Sad
I'll be quietly composing myself while I wait for the next chapter......*dons bucket to hide the very moved expression*
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Sat May 30, 2009 10:47 am

Thanks everyone for your interest and providing your feedback! I appreciate it so very much!!

I decided that I just couldn't keep editing it any longer.

Chapter 8 in Knight of Honor is posted for viewing!!

And, this time I can present an excerpt without giving too much of the chapter away...

Dusty looked from Arlesse to Jas and he caught a momentary spark of something between them. It was a connection of some kind, something intangible that was both a mutual respect and something he couldn’t quite grasp. After a moment, Dusty suddenly hid the smirk on his face as he realized that Les’ika was trying to impress Jas and that Jas had taken a liking to the young monarch. And, now he knew exactly what he had interrupted earlier and almost wished that he had diverted Gath for just a few minutes longer.

Shifting his eyes quickly to Gath, Dusty thought about the conversation the two of them shared while they had been gathering the water. Gath had admitted that he thought Princess Arlesse was a good person and was a decent being despite her birthing into privilege and status. However, he was insistent that because she was royalty, it meant that they were even further burdened with bringing her home without anything else happening to her. He pointed out how on a couple instances they had breached the orders they were given and were skirting near insubordination. Gath then emphasized that he had no intention to experience a DC-17 court-martial, especially not over a mission as easy as the extraction of a royal pawn in a Separatist power struggle.


Last edited by Ms.MaraJade on Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:33 pm

Once again, I am grateful for the interest in this humble little tale of mine. cheers

Chapter 9 is now ready for reading!

Here's the excerpt...

"Do you cook anything else?” Dusty asked, as his question was formed around a mouthful of RubyFruit.

Arlesse shook her head. “Other than a couple variants of breakfast cakes and the RubyFruit, no. After Udi passed away, the new cook never let me near the kitchens, no matter how much I asked. His philosophy was that I should be worrying about laws and history, not how long it takes dough to rise or what the ingredients are that make up a vegetable sauce.”

Mouse nodded gratefully in acknowledgement, taking another RubyFruit from the communal pile that Arlesse had started making while she continued to cook the rest of their stash. “You did good, Les’ika. I’ll put in an unlimited order for these treats.”

“We’ll pick some more tomorrow and I’ll cook them every evening,” she promised as her smile matched the brightness of the fire’s flame. She finally felt like she was good for something and not just a burden with no usefulness. She had decided that if she had to earn her keep by making these men candy, then it was a minor price to pay for their troubles and risks.

Jas was aware now how Les’ika smiled in the glow of the fire, and he saw that she was proud of herself for having done something constructive. She had creatively found a way to thank them for saving her, and he could see that it eased her burdens of feeling insignificant.

As the fire flickered in the darkening evening, Jas couldn’t help but notice how it reflected off her untamed curls and shone in her blue eyes. He knew he was viewing her as much more than the political pawn they were ordered to extract from the Separatist’s minions. His emotions continued to betray the fact that she was merely their mission objective. As her smile competed with the brightness of the fire, Jas could feel the warmth seeping into his chest, and the confusion he fought so hard to control threatened to break free from his mental box.
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Sun Jun 28, 2009 6:26 pm

One of my characters from Knight of Honor decided he needed a little more spotlight time. In order to abide by his wishes, I wrote Civilian Interlude, a companion piece to Knight of Honor.

Title: Republic Commando: Civilian Interlude
Timeline: Clone Wars Era
Characters: Original Characters: Crimson Squad, Cerina Browlin, Reone, Gan Pohin, and the opening segment quotes are mine.
Canon Characters: Arlington Zey and Bardan Jusik belong to Karen Traviss. Mace Windu belongs to George Lucas.
Genre: General
Plot/Summary: RC-1168, Dusty, of Crimson Squad is sent on a mission to retrieve vital information. Companion piece to my story, “Republic Commando: Knight of Honor.”
Links: Republic Commando: Civilian Interlude

Ms.MaraJade Fan Fiction Disclaimer : I make no money, and I only write about what I enjoy.

Comments, critiques, and reviews welcome. I just want to learn how to be a better writer. Feel free to post here or leave on fanfiction.net.

Excerpt:

Cerina led him to a small booth in a far corner of the main restaurant floor, and as they sat at the table, Dusty studied the woman closely, not completely certain why this Cerina Browlin chose to have a meeting of such vital importance within the confines of an occupied restaurant. It was far too risky, and he didn’t like the idea at all of being ambushed. Continuing to watch her as she slowly reviewed the menu on the datapad, he was aware that she seemed to be casually deciding whether she wanted the braised nerf or the bahmat steak.

“Madam Cerina,” he said, wanting to get this information exchange over with so that he could get back to his brothers, “I believe you have something of importance for me.”

Cerina laughed lightly and brought her eyes up from the menu. “Why the rush? You managed to get yourself a free meal, and you might as well make the best of it.”

“Because…”

Closing down the menu and placing it off to the side of the table she then leaned forward and Dusty felt all of his concerns fall away as he saw the way her dress held tightly against her skin, and he suddenly feared that the straps on her dress would tear free. Swallowing hard, he realized that he wasn’t sure who would be more embarrassed if that should happen, and she certainly didn’t seem to notice the strain on the fabric.

“When was the last time you enjoyed, truly enjoyed, a meal anyway?” Cerina asked, taking advantage of his pause, “And, can you honestly tell me if you’ve ever been on a date before?”
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Sat Jul 25, 2009 7:52 pm

Knight of Honor has been updated! cheers

Knight of Honor: Chapter 10

Excerpt:
Jas felt one of his hands suddenly clench tightly, feeling a surge of jealousy that only fueled the disappointment he was already feeling for his brother. Jas felt his eyes shift quickly to Les’ika, aware that with the buy’ce on his head, neither Dusty nor Les’ika could see his obvious reaction. Jas saw the princess lower her eyes, and he could see that she was skeptical about having one of her guardians so close to her while she would be entirely bare. Dusty, on the other hand, wasn’t making any reaction, but then again, Dusty had known that Jas was struggling with the nagging hunger that he fought against feeling for the princess. Last night, Dusty had made it very clear that he had no desire to pursue Les’ika, and that Jas would be a di’kut if he didn’t. It still made Jas angry, though, how months ago Dusty had put the curiosity of sharing an intimate experience with a woman before the mission.
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:33 pm

Unusual for me I know...I updated quicker than normal.

Knight of Honor: Chapter 11

Excerpt:
Jas decided he couldn’t hold back his resentment any longer, and he had to make an effort to face his irritation with Dusty. He kept his voice low so he wouldn’t arouse any of Les’ika’s attention. “How could you do it, Dusty? How could you shut off your communications knowing that the entire Clone Army was depending on you?”

Dusty stopped moving inventory around for a moment and looked to his brother. “It wasn’t that simple…”

That brought a snort from Jas. “Then which head did she hold the blaster to?”

At that, Dusty grabbed Jas by the neck and pinned him against the wall on the outside of the cavern. Mouse immediately mumbled something to them about letting a vode get some rest or he’d gladly shoot both of them.

Dusty kept his voice soft but offered no room for argument. “Get your kriffing, self-righteous head out of your shebs, you di’kut.”

“You could have killed us, all of us!” Jas said, biting down on his rising voice. “And for what?”

Dusty stared hard into his brother’s eyes, and brought an unusual edge to his words. “Stop thinking like a Clone for one damn moment, Jas. You’re allowed to be a man.”


Enjoy! The next chapter probably won't be so quickly updated. Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Mon Aug 24, 2009 7:55 pm

Another update! cheers

Knight of Honor: Chapter 12

Excerpt:
Jas lowered his eyes to the rippling water, watching the reflections of his face and Dusty’s. With the exception of Dusty’s hair that needed a trim and the bruise covering his jaw, he and Jas were identical men. However, only very few others ever realized that clones were not all the same person and that every one of the men in the Clone Army was different, unique in their own way. Only a small fraction of beings ever saw how each of the clones had taken on their own personalities, becoming individuals who shared nothing more than the same face.

“It’s a foolish fantasy, isn’t it?” Jas asked as he shook his head and ran his fingers through his damp, dark hair. “I’ll be dead long before she’s old enough to look old, and I’m not even a registered citizen. She’s a princess…a kriffing princess! How could she think there’s more to me than a disposable flesh droid?”

“Because you’re a good man, Jas. Ba’vodu had done right with you.”

Jas shook his head, utterly confused over a moment that had been so right yet continued to have everything around it be so wrong.

“Nothing in Les’ika’s actions gave the impression that she was fantasizing,” Dusty offered, noting how his brother could not accept this situation easily.

At that, Jas spun toward Dusty, and his need to protect her was clearly evident in his eyes. “You were watching us?”


For anyone who's reading, I hope you continue to enjoy this little tale. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:35 pm

I know, I know. I took forever to update. (See my ramblings in the "I Need My Clan" section for an explanation...)

Anyway, Knight of Honor: Chapter 13 has been updated!

Excerpt:
“Mission orders are to protect the princess and get her home safe,” Gath reiterated.

Jas sighed in frustration, wondering how his brother could not clearly see the consequences. “And, if we follow those outdated orders, she may not have a home to go back to. This is what we do, Gath. This is the kind of mission we’ve been trained to handle.”

“And, we’ve bent our orders so close to insubordination that we’ve practically shattered our armor,” Gath argued. “Without communications, we don’t even know if another squad was already planted to handle those Seps. We might end up killing our own.”

“But, what if you’re wrong, Gath, then what?” Jas asked. He turned his helmeted head to Les’ika and gently lifted one of her hands from her face. He studied her eyes as they shifted from anger and fright to curiosity and concern. Wrapping his fingers around hers, Jas squeezed her hand gently to offer her silent reassurance, selfishly allowing him a second to absorb himself in the blue of her eyes.

Dusty breathed softly. “We only have one chance for this, Gath. I’m not going to take the risk that there’s another squad of ours out there. We all know we were assigned the Tochin mission because it’s out of the way from the real fighting. Reject Squads don’t get real missions, but if we walk away, Tochin might fall under Separatist control, and then we’d really be the Reject Squad.”


Enjoy! Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Sat Nov 28, 2009 8:35 pm

If anyone is interested...

Knight of Honor: Chapter 14 has been updated!

Excerpt:
Arlesse took a heavy breath and instinctually grasped the edge of the blanket tighter in her hands. Zech’s eyes were clear now, and he lifted his head off the ground taking in the Republic soldiers that surrounded him. He again attempted to sit up, only to find his hands were bound behind his back and his balance was awkward without being able to use his hands to keep level. He stumbled a couple times before righting himself enough to be considered sitting up on the ground.

Arlesse watched Zech’s eyes rise slowly, and take in the Republic soldiers, the loyal guardians that Arlesse knew would protect her. When Zech’s irises came to her, she felt a cold shudder crawl down her spine. It wasn’t because she felt he would do anything to her, not with Crimson around to keep her safe. Instead she saw the regret in his eyes, the realization that everything he had planned and schemed had evaporated like the morning mist that was common in this wooded land.

“You’re alive?” he asked her, full of confusion.


Enjoy!
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mando-mantis
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Thu Jan 14, 2010 4:34 pm

Finnished reading it today (gotta love study hall)
It's so cute I've been spontaneously "awww"-ing the entire day. You write Jas and Les'ika's innocent relationship really well.
Gath's story with the rodent really struck me (I used to have two gerbils. Gath, I feel your pain, those adorable critters never stay with us long enough Sad )

oh, I also have to say that I feel like an awful person for (kind of) liking Hazar... you have to hate him for being such a... terrible person (there, PG language) but at the same time I've got a soft spot for needlessly sadistic characters (I'm thanking Zeus that this obsession only applies to fictional characters) he's so scary and creepy (and I imagine him to look like a ninja, so there's extra bonus points)

another thing I love is how often everything is compared to horror holovids. On the one hand, there's the fairy-tale feel that is really clear and on the other hand there's the reference to horror movies that seems so contradictory to the innocent feel of the story. I have to say, I love it. Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Thu Jan 14, 2010 7:34 pm

Thanks for the comments, mando-mantis, for Knight of Honor!

I'm glad you've enjoyed the story thus far. It's been a fun story to do, and I only wish I had more time to update quicker! The fact that it can take a month or two to finalize a chapter bugs me, but that's how it is when there's responsibilities to be handled first. Very Happy

Gath and the rodent came out of the blue. I was struggling a bit with that part of the chapter, and suddenly I had that idea come into my mind. Once I really started outlining it, that incident of his past took shape and allowed me to throw another layer onto him.

Don't feel weird about liking Hazar. Razz I actually enjoyed writing and creating him. I just hope I never meet anyone like that in real life! Knowing he got his in the end gave me some peace of mind with creating him, I think. Wink

LOL. The horror holovids concept comes from my...fear of watching them, methinks. Seriously, there's something complimentary between the fantasy of a love story done with fairy tale elements and the grotesque that is often reality, which prevents us from getting to that fairy/fantasy world.

I'm truly thrilled that you enjoy this, and I will have to make certain I post the next update so you're aware of it.

Thanks so much again for your comments!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Sat Jan 16, 2010 12:07 pm

Something a little bit different from me this time.

The story is titled: A Simple Beginning

Summary: Jango Fett comes to terms with being a father as he holds baby Boba for the first time.

Excerpt:
I see the small, white bundle cradled against her, not in any form of affection, but strictly for stability. With graceful steps, she comes to me and quickly lands the swaddled baby in my arms.

There is no prompting, no warning. He is just there, and if not for my refined reflexes, I’m sure I would have dropped him.

“Your clone,” she tells me in that melodic voice. I strangely expect her to say something more, something kind, but she simply turns and gracefully makes her exit from the room.

“He is as you requested, Jango,” the doctor says, his voice nearly sounding like it carries disapproval. “Unmodified.”


Hope you enjoy! This one was a bit of personal therapy for me.
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Mesh'la Runi
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:19 pm

Haha that Jango/Boba story was cute, MMJ. I know I'm going to sound like a stickler, but I hope you won't mind me pointing out that ad'ike should be ad'ika. The "e" denotes pluralism, kind of like the "s" in English. But other than that, your use of Mando'a was spot-on and I definitely felt like the story as a whole was well-written. I'll have to check out some of your other writing sometime. (:
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:47 pm

Mesh'la Runi wrote:
Haha that Jango/Boba story was cute, MMJ. I know I'm going to sound like a stickler, but I hope you won't mind me pointing out that ad'ike should be ad'ika. The "e" denotes pluralism, kind of like the "s" in English. But other than that, your use of Mando'a was spot-on and I definitely felt like the story as a whole was well-written. I'll have to check out some of your other writing sometime. (:

Hi Mesh'la!

Thanks for checking out "A Simple Beginning." I have no complaints on you being a "stickler" with the Mando'a. (I'm still trying to learn it, and even though I might know a handful of words, the grammar aspect of Mando'a trips me up more often than not.) Laughing Anyway, I just took a few moments to change ad'ike to ad'ika because I'm a meticulous nut like that. Very Happy

Again, I do appreciate your reading this, and feedback is very helpful to me. I feel it helps me learn and grow as a writer. If you ever get a chance to look into my other work, I would be very grateful, but I understand that sometimes our time isn't our own. Wink

Take care!
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PostSubject: Re: Stories from the Fan Fiction Shelf of Ms.MaraJade   Thu Feb 11, 2010 6:18 am

It just occurred to me that I had forgotten to advise the last two updates to Knight of Honor.

Here is Chapter 15:

Excerpt:
“Why is Dusty a traitor?” she asked softly, her eyes darting around Crimson. She saw the genuine regret in Mouse’s eyes for snapping at her, but she had already decided that she would never do anything to cross him if she could avoid it.

“He broke protocol on a mission to be with a woman,” Gath explained, deciding not to get into any more details.

Arlesse felt her fear change from the ire of Mouse’s intentions towards Dusty to suddenly fearing for Jas’ life. Her voice was now shaky and tight. “Will you treat Jas like this after you leave Tochin? Will you punish him because I made the mistake of caring?”




Here is Chapter 16:

Excerpt:
“You’re one sick, shabuir,” the voice belonging to Tarj responded, the anger not lessening. There was obvious bitterness in his words that another clone would dare to imitate some of his brothers who had perished nobly in their mission. “You were warned to stop impersonating the dead…”

“Find a superior officer and tell him that the dancing nerf pup took a nap,” Gath interrupted, all serious now. “And, the nexu kitten came out of the cave.”

There was the sound of a click, followed by a long pause. Collectively, the group held their breath not certain if the silence indicated that they had lost the connection prematurely or if Tarj had cut them off in his anger.

After a long few minutes, however, the communications clicked again, and Tarj’s voice burst with emotion as though he was standing right along with them. “Fierfek! You di’kuts! How the hell did you manage to resurrect?”

“Even death rejected the Reject Squad,” Dusty said somewhat cheerfully, smiling with satisfaction that apparently the rivalry between Tarj and Crimson had never subsided.
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